The Mindful Parent
Experience the Joy of Connecting with our Children
®
Beautiful Scene
Many Parents
Many Children
______________
______________
______________
______________
______________
Mindful Parenting is a contemplative practice through which our connection to our child, and awareness of our child’s presence, helps us become better grounded in the present moment
Your mindful parenting practice
tip of the day.
Sip slowly.
The Mindful Parent is an organization devoted to sharing with parents and other child caregivers ways in which to enhance the many joys of parenting. By mindfully attending to our children, both when we are physically present with them and when we are physically separated from them, we can enhance our sense of connection to them and, in turn, our connection to the cosmos. This makes us a better parent, a happier person, and a more vital human being.
To facilitate a more mindful approach to parenting, The Mindful Parent publishes on its website, and in its newsletter, mindful parenting verses and commentaries. The Mindful Parent website also serves as a community forum that encourages and supports a mindful parenting dialogue and the sharing of mindful parenting experiences.
In the spirit of developing a mindful parenting community, we encourage you to submit a mindful parenting verse, commentary, and imagery to share with others. We believe that through our collective experience, we can help each other develop a deeper and more meaningful mindful parenting practice. Click here to learn more about making a submission. We thank everyone who has made a contribution.
Please contact us with your questions about mindful parenting or to share a mindful parenting experience. The Mindful Parent conducts mindful parenting workshops and seminars.
The Week of May 17, 2010
The Morning Cup
-------------------------------------------
If you would like a copy of The Morning Cup column e-mailed to you, click here.
-------------------------------------------
Sign Up for the Mindful Parent Newsletter and receive information and tips on mindful parenting. It’s easy, free, and fulfilling.
The Daily Sip: Where in My Next Breath?
One of the great ironies of parenting – which all parents recognize – is that the very object of a parent’s affection and among the greatest of their joys can be the source of so much agitation. Today we will explore how this frustrating aspect of parenting can come to serve a very different, and a quite extraordinary purpose.
While The Morning Cup column often concludes with a mindfulness verse, today we’ll begin with one.
What is this frustration?
Breathing in I see myself struggling
Breathing out I see my child struggling
Where in my next breath
Will I find compassion – for both of us?
The agitation we feel as parents in relation to our child can take the form of frustration (why aren’t you doing your homework?), anger (why are you making so much noise while I am on an important phone call?), embarrassment (why are you acting so inappropriately in front of my colleagues?), anxiety (you should have been home by now!) and even doubt (the fact that I get so frustrated must say something about my parenting skills).
Rather than get caught up in why this is so – which can be its own reaction and a source of suffering, today we simply note that from time to time events arise in which our child’s actions are a source of challenge and emotional distress. The key is the word “events.”
Take a breath and pay close attention to what’s happening around you right now. Notice the many events, unfolding one after the other. The sun is shining. A car is honking. Two people are laughing. The air conditioner is humming. Your shoulders are tight.
These events may be pleasant; they may be unpleasant. And regardless, they will change. The sunlight will fade, the car will stop honking, and the stiffness in your shoulders will ease, and then stiffen up again. So it is with the moments of challenge with your child. A series of events . . . some pleasant; some unpleasant . . . always in flux . . . the unfolding of life.
Turning to the beginning of today’s verse, let’s consider:
What is this frustration?
Here you bring awareness and a curious mind to your reactivity. Might it arise out of the resistance you experience when, for example, you want your child to do their homework and they want to watch television or read a book? And might they experience their own resistance and frustration, sometimes more profound and deeper than you even realize?
As the verse continues, the breath helps you see more clearly that your resistance is but an event in which you are struggling. As you struggle, your breathing changes – you instinctively move into flight or fight mode. Paradoxically, it is fight or flight involving . . . your child. But by bringing awareness to your breathing, you ease your nervous system arousal. Your heart rate slows, your blood pressure drops, and the release of the stress hormone cortisol subsides.
Breathing in I see myself struggling
Breathing out I see my child struggling
By seeing more clearly what is taking place, and easing your nervous system arousal with the breath, you become better equipped to make a wide decision on what to do next.
The question that concludes the verse highlights one of the most delicious fruits of a mindfulness practice – the flowing of compassion.
Where in my next breath
Will I find compassion – for both of us?
The next time you find yourself becoming distressed in your interactions with your child, recite the verse. You may find that doing so, you see the event more clearly, feelings of stress lessen, and you embody a greater compassion and wisdom.
Wishing you all the best,
Scott Rogers
Founder, The Mindful Parent Community and Website
Author, Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses & Visualizations for a More Joyful Life
Click below to read a recent Morning Cup Column
Disclaimer | Terms of Use | Privacy | Contact
© 2003-2010. Institute for Mindfulness Studies. All Rights Reserved. The Mindful Parent is a registered trademark of the Institute for Mindfulness Studies.