Welcome to the April 25, 2004 Issue of The Mindful Parent Newsletter.

What's New
The Mindful Parent has made submitting a verse even easier. Submit a mindful parenting verse and participate in the mindful parenting community. Your compassionate sharing of a particularly meaningful moment in your life could be very helpful to a parent or child caregiver who finds themself in a similar situation.

The Mindful Parent recently introduced The Mindful Parent Children's Book Series. Read with your child the first book in the series "One Day Winston The Wave Woke Up," and explore more fully the practice of mindful parenting through reading.

The Mindful Parent website has discontinued presenting on the homepage the "Verse of the Month" and, in its place, now publishes daily a new section titled "The Morning Cup" which offers a daily tip on what you might do to make your day more mindful. Bookmark http://themindfulparent.org and read "The Morning Cup" as often as you like.

Heavier than you thought?

Image As you may know, The Mindful Parent recently added to its website a section that publishes mindful parenting meditations. These are meditations designed to enhance awareness of the deep connection we have with our children. In this edition of the newsletter, I will share with you a simple image that can be the source of a powerful mindful parenting meditation.

The image is that of our child carrying us in their arms. This is probably an image we have never contemplated. Close your eyes for a moment and consider this image. It is interesting to observe how we construct its details in our mind. Is your child struggling? Is your child smiling? Are you relaxed? Are you uncomfortable? We may be inclined to view what arises as a reversal of roles. But is it?

From a mindful parenting perspective, the power of this image is expressed when we consider one of the greatest weights our child carries around (or carried around when they were a child, and may still carry around to this day). That weight is us.

Whether we are aware of it or not, we place a great many demands on our child. Of many, we are aware. “Take out the garbage,” “Do your homework,” and “Don’t bother me now I am trying to work,” come to mind as among the more healthy examples. Of others, we may not be so aware. Indeed, many demands are unspoken (or hidden underneath and in between our words and actions); their source is found at our core, where we have little insight into our own behavior and motivations. The practice of mindful parenting helps create the space of awareness where we might tap into some of these motivations.

Draw on this image from time to time. For example, when your child is upset or frustrated, shift your awareness to this image. When you do, sense your heaviness and your child’s effort. Feel your child’s arms underneath you, supporting you. This shifting of awareness will instantly bring about a greater readiness, on your end, to more accurately assess the situation. And indeed, it is important to appreciate those times when we may be exacerbating an already difficult situation. It’s difficult enough to be a kid. Sometimes we may forget this.

Of course, this is not to say that we should refrain from giving our children chores or difficult tasks, or should relieve them of complicated assignments. To the contrary, doing so appropriately helps build character and a sense of responsibility. But, it is best when we make such delegations and assignments from a place of mindfulness. That way, we are more likely to interact with our child in the moment, and not from some murky place hidden in the recesses of our forgotten past. We know the difference. The image, along with the following verse, may help bring about that awareness.

My child carries me
Is my weight greater than she should have to bear?


We all love our children to no end. They, in turn, so love and need us that they will go to great lengths to please us. When we are mindful of where our child is coming from when he acts difficult, we respond with words and deeds that soothe our child's soul. And in so doing, a little weight falls to the ground.

Until next time.

Scott Rogers
Editor, The Mindful Parent Newletter
http://TheMindfulParent.org

If you have a mindful parenting story you would like to contribute, please send it to us at info@themindfulparent.org. If we publish it in an upcoming edition of the newsletter, we will include mention of your name as its contributor, unless you specifically request otherwise.

The Mindful Parent website and newsletter does not receive any funds through the advertising or promotion of third party content or services.


Copyright 2004. All rights reserved. The Mindful Parent is a trademark of Zen Health.


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