It can be very frustrating when our child does not listen to us. But our expectations for our child’s compliance may assume a lot about their emotional and mental capacities. While it is important that we establish early on our role as caretaker and decision maker, we owe it to ourselves not to create a battle out of thin air. Because of the complex interpersonal dynamic driving our relationship with our child, we often forget that we hold all the cards; we are the powerful one and ultimately we can force our child to do whatever we want. They, in contrast, have no power and cannot force us to do anything. They are constantly exploring the parameters of their influence, and we play a fundamental role in their developing sense of themselves.
This verse helps us to better asses the situation by reminding us to take a deep breath in order to disrupt the energized state of tension that has arisen and, because we are ultimately charged as parents with using our power responsibly, to listen deeply to what our child is really saying to more aptly deal with the situation. It may be necessary to take several deep breaths. We might ask our child to join us in breathing deep or we may lovingly announce that we need a few minutes to think about what’s going on. Doing so, we can create a more mindful place with which to deal with what is likely a fleeting state of frustration for both parent and child.
