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Welcome to the February 16,
2006 Issue of The Mindful Parent Newsletter.
If your
copy of the newsletter is difficult to read or does not contain
functioning links, cut out the following link and paste it into your
Internet browser. You will be able to read the current newsletter
directly from The Mindful Parent website. January 16, 2006
Newsletter
What's New:
Recent Release of
Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses, & Visualizations for a More
Joyful Life
The Mindful Parent® is pleased to announce the
release of Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses, & Visualizations for
a More Joyful Life, written by Scott Rogers.
Mindful
Parenting is written for parents of children of all ages who wish to
become more grounded in the present moment. The meditation techniques,
verses, and visualizations contained in the book view a parent’s deep
connection to their child as a method of becoming more mindful. It is not
necessary that one have a meditative practice to find the book useful. As
more and more people are becoming interested in bringing a calming
presence into their lives, mindfulness in its various forms offers an
elegant roadmap. Mindful Parenting will help parents find greater
stability and presence in their own lives which, in turn, they can share
with their children, and which will naturally enrich both their lives and
their children’s lives.
Based on feedback received from parents
exploring Mindful Parenting on The Mindful Parent website and through
personal interactions over the past three years, Mindful Parenting
offers straightforward approaches to achieving deeper and more frequent
states of mindfulness and feeling of joy.
To learn more about
the book click
here. You can purchase Mindful Parenting at Amazon.com by
clicking here. If you are not receiving a graphics version of this
newsletter and there is no link, you can visit Amazon.com and search for
books on "mindful parenting."
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Hurricanes of the Mind: Finding Balance By Moving into
the I
Life’s Hurricanes
Last year many
of us experienced firsthand or read about the devastation caused by
several hurricanes. In many ways the natural world outside our minds
parallels the on-goings within our minds. Who hasn’t felt, at one time or
another, that their life was running headlong into the emotional or
spiritual equivalent of a hurricane? Even if the “raindrops falling on
your head,” don’t amount to a hurricane, the vagaries of your internal
weather patterns can be a source of irritation, disappointment, anger, and
frustration. All this being said, we can learn something from the nature
of hurricanes and how we might find relief amid the day to day bustle of
our lives.
One answer can be found in the hurricane’s “eye”
which is the topic of this newsletter.
The Hurricane’s
Eye
The main parts of a hurricane are the rainbands on its
outer edges, the eye, and the eyewall. We can spend much of our lives
living in the equivalent of the rainbands, where rain and wind are
prevalent and the most persistent destruction often occurs. And because so
much of the hurricane is consumed by the rainbands, it is easy to get
caught there. In much the same way, we find ourselves absorbed in the
seemingly constant downpour and swirling winds inherent in day to day
minutiae – the frustrating traffic jams, the petty arguments, the events
that conjure worrying, fear and regret.
One alternative is to
escape the hurricane altogether – to flee. But to do so, you walk out on
your life. The alternative is to move into the eye, where there resides a
beautiful calm. Importantly, in order to remain amid this glorious calm,
you must keep vigilant. For the eye does not remain in the same place as
it is always moving. And the space between eye and rainband – the eye
wall – is the most treacherous of places. To stay within the eye’s
sanctuary, it is necessary to be aware of and present to all that is
swirling about. This is to say, to be witness to your life as it is
taking place, and to participate in a way that keeps you centered and
grounded. Being situated in the eye is not going to rid your life of
pain, but it provides a safe haven in which the pain and discomfort life
sends our way can be accepted.
Mindfulness and the
I
Just as there is a balanced center in a hurricane, there is
one within ourselves. It has been called the “I.” Whereas the “me” is
that part of ourselves we identify with, the part that has a body, that
has a story, that has friends and enemies, hopes, dreams and desires, and
cares very much about all of these things to the point that it suffers
when all is not going according to plan, the I, also known as “awareness,”
is much more. It is the source of love and compassion, of connectedness
and genuine expression. It resides within ourselves and everywhere else.
And when we tap into it, we become liberated from attachment and feelings
of isolation, from disappointment and from fear.
Mindfulness is
a state of being that is in touch with the I – that merges with the I.
One of life’s blessings is that in every moment, we have the capacity to
move toward the I. Perhaps we did not do so in the moments leading up to
this one. But behold, the moment is before you. Jump into it with both
eyes open!
Moving Toward the I
Before the
advent of machines to forecast the weather, hurricanes came out of the
blue --literally. Beautiful afternoons of sunny skies would quickly turn
into howling nightmares of rain and wind. At times, life’s events may
feel like this, twisting and turning on a moments notice. And, of course,
this can be distressing and unsettling. Today, we have technology so that
the arrival of a hurricane is no longer a surprise (though its specific
path and consequence remains uncertain – thus is
life).
Mindfulness practice is much like this technology. For
when we are mindful, we glimpse the onset of the mental hurricane while it
is still forming. If our practice is strong, the hurricane dissipates
before it reaches full force. But when a hurricane succeeds in forming,
we have the second opportunity to limits its effect on our lives by moving
into the I.
The following verse can start the process of
moving into awareness.
I feel the force of my
mind
Pulling me out of the moment
Breathing deeply
I feel
my belly expand
And bring awareness into my
center
The art of moving into the I begins with the
subtle knowledge that a storm is brewing. Without this awareness, you are
tossed about like a small boat in a raging sea until the storm passes.
But, once you realize that you are caught in a hurricane, you can
initiate movement toward your center.
Witness the
Approaching Storm
The above verse begins with recognition
that you are being tugged out of yourself. This feeling is one of
heightened excitation. It serves as a powerful cue that you are out of
balance and can do something about it. Learn to look for the
warning signs. Your voice becomes louder, you become impatient, you tend
to interrupt others, you get excited, worried, or anxious. Your heart
races. Eye contact diminishes. The tell tale signs are many. They are
usually accompanied by shallow breathing. When you gain insight into the
seductive pull into the brewing storm, bring attention to your breathing,
a beautiful devise for stabilizing yourself as things around you are being
shaken up.
Whether you simply bring awareness to your
breathing as it is naturally occurring, not trying to change it, or
whether you deliberately slow and deepen your breathing, you will
naturally shift energy and awareness into your core, at your mid-section.
With awareness, each breath roots you deeper. Place a hand on your belly
and feel it rise and fall with your breathing. As energy and awareness
move into your core, it moves out of your mind, depleting the energy that
is feeding the brewing storm.
Your Child Can Help You
Find Center
To help the flow of energy out of your mind and
into your body, as you place your hand (or hands) on your rising belly,
visualize or imagine your child, just prior to being born floating inside
the womb. Sense your child’s pure state of being -- the trust and
protection -- and merge with it. Consider how, regardless of the world’s
events, your child floats effortless, in a place of no thought and pure
acceptance.
It may be difficult to sustain this awareness,
especially as you are continually being tugged back into the storm. To
help the grounding process, press your feet to the ground and feel the
solid earth. Sense the Earth’s perception of your feet pressing against
it. Close your eyes and then slowly open them, looking at the world anew.
If you are in a group setting, and self-conscious of closing your eyes,
then gently blink them with deliberation. Continue to concentrate
awareness around your breathing.
As this process unfolds (and
this is key), allow the thoughts that are rushing through your mind –
swirling with the wind – to pass. Watch them swirl, and watch them pass.
In your more centered state of being, there is no need to throw yourself
into these thoughts. Let them go. Trust that there is no thought of
consequence that will disappear. What will disappear, however, are the
self-proclaimed “important” stories and thought patterns that have come to
dominate much of your time and are the source of irritation and
pain.
In time, and with practice, you will intuit approaching
storms. Upon moving to your center, the storm often will dissipate on the
spot. But even if it begins to rage, by moving into the I, you create an
environment that will help you to weather the storm, and perhaps bring
about the return of blue skies, white clouds, cool winds, and a dazzling
sun.
Until next time,
Scott Rogers
Editor,
The Mindful Parent Newsletter
http://TheMindfulParent.org
Author,
Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses, & Visualizations for a More
Joyful Life (January 2006: Mindful Living Press)
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About The Mindful Parent
Website and Community
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devoted to sharing with parents and other child caregivers ways in which
to enhance the many joys of parenting and of becoming more grounded in the
present moment.
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