Welcome to the February 16, 2006 Issue of The Mindful Parent Newsletter.

If your copy of the newsletter is difficult to read or does not contain functioning links, cut out the following link and paste it into your Internet browser. You will be able to read the current newsletter directly from The Mindful Parent website. January 16, 2006 Newsletter

What's New:
Recent Release of Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses, & Visualizations for a More Joyful Life
The Mindful Parent® is pleased to announce the release of Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses, & Visualizations for a More Joyful Life, written by Scott Rogers.

Mindful Parenting is written for parents of children of all ages who wish to become more grounded in the present moment. The meditation techniques, verses, and visualizations contained in the book view a parent’s deep connection to their child as a method of becoming more mindful. It is not necessary that one have a meditative practice to find the book useful. As more and more people are becoming interested in bringing a calming presence into their lives, mindfulness in its various forms offers an elegant roadmap. Mindful Parenting will help parents find greater stability and presence in their own lives which, in turn, they can share with their children, and which will naturally enrich both their lives and their children’s lives.

Based on feedback received from parents exploring Mindful Parenting on The Mindful Parent website and through personal interactions over the past three years, Mindful Parenting offers straightforward approaches to achieving deeper and more frequent states of mindfulness and feeling of joy.

To learn more about the book click here. You can purchase Mindful Parenting at Amazon.com by clicking here. If you are not receiving a graphics version of this newsletter and there is no link, you can visit Amazon.com and search for books on "mindful parenting."

Hurricanes of the Mind: Finding Balance By Moving into the I

Image Life’s Hurricanes
Last year many of us experienced firsthand or read about the devastation caused by several hurricanes. In many ways the natural world outside our minds parallels the on-goings within our minds. Who hasn’t felt, at one time or another, that their life was running headlong into the emotional or spiritual equivalent of a hurricane? Even if the “raindrops falling on your head,” don’t amount to a hurricane, the vagaries of your internal weather patterns can be a source of irritation, disappointment, anger, and frustration. All this being said, we can learn something from the nature of hurricanes and how we might find relief amid the day to day bustle of our lives.

One answer can be found in the hurricane’s “eye” which is the topic of this newsletter.

The Hurricane’s Eye
The main parts of a hurricane are the rainbands on its outer edges, the eye, and the eyewall. We can spend much of our lives living in the equivalent of the rainbands, where rain and wind are prevalent and the most persistent destruction often occurs. And because so much of the hurricane is consumed by the rainbands, it is easy to get caught there. In much the same way, we find ourselves absorbed in the seemingly constant downpour and swirling winds inherent in day to day minutiae – the frustrating traffic jams, the petty arguments, the events that conjure worrying, fear and regret.

One alternative is to escape the hurricane altogether – to flee. But to do so, you walk out on your life. The alternative is to move into the eye, where there resides a beautiful calm. Importantly, in order to remain amid this glorious calm, you must keep vigilant. For the eye does not remain in the same place as it is always moving. And the space between eye and rainband – the eye wall – is the most treacherous of places. To stay within the eye’s sanctuary, it is necessary to be aware of and present to all that is swirling about. This is to say, to be witness to your life as it is taking place, and to participate in a way that keeps you centered and grounded. Being situated in the eye is not going to rid your life of pain, but it provides a safe haven in which the pain and discomfort life sends our way can be accepted.

Mindfulness and the I
Just as there is a balanced center in a hurricane, there is one within ourselves. It has been called the “I.” Whereas the “me” is that part of ourselves we identify with, the part that has a body, that has a story, that has friends and enemies, hopes, dreams and desires, and cares very much about all of these things to the point that it suffers when all is not going according to plan, the I, also known as “awareness,” is much more. It is the source of love and compassion, of connectedness and genuine expression. It resides within ourselves and everywhere else. And when we tap into it, we become liberated from attachment and feelings of isolation, from disappointment and from fear.

Mindfulness is a state of being that is in touch with the I – that merges with the I. One of life’s blessings is that in every moment, we have the capacity to move toward the I. Perhaps we did not do so in the moments leading up to this one. But behold, the moment is before you. Jump into it with both eyes open!

Moving Toward the I
Before the advent of machines to forecast the weather, hurricanes came out of the blue --literally. Beautiful afternoons of sunny skies would quickly turn into howling nightmares of rain and wind. At times, life’s events may feel like this, twisting and turning on a moments notice. And, of course, this can be distressing and unsettling. Today, we have technology so that the arrival of a hurricane is no longer a surprise (though its specific path and consequence remains uncertain – thus is life).

Mindfulness practice is much like this technology. For when we are mindful, we glimpse the onset of the mental hurricane while it is still forming. If our practice is strong, the hurricane dissipates before it reaches full force. But when a hurricane succeeds in forming, we have the second opportunity to limits its effect on our lives by moving into the I.

The following verse can start the process of moving into awareness.

I feel the force of my mind
Pulling me out of the moment
Breathing deeply
I feel my belly expand
And bring awareness into my center


The art of moving into the I begins with the subtle knowledge that a storm is brewing. Without this awareness, you are tossed about like a small boat in a raging sea until the storm passes. But, once you realize that you are caught in a hurricane, you can initiate movement toward your center.

Witness the Approaching Storm
The above verse begins with recognition that you are being tugged out of yourself. This feeling is one of heightened excitation. It serves as a powerful cue that you are out of balance and can do something about it. Learn to look for the warning signs. Your voice becomes louder, you become impatient, you tend to interrupt others, you get excited, worried, or anxious. Your heart races. Eye contact diminishes. The tell tale signs are many. They are usually accompanied by shallow breathing. When you gain insight into the seductive pull into the brewing storm, bring attention to your breathing, a beautiful devise for stabilizing yourself as things around you are being shaken up.

Whether you simply bring awareness to your breathing as it is naturally occurring, not trying to change it, or whether you deliberately slow and deepen your breathing, you will naturally shift energy and awareness into your core, at your mid-section. With awareness, each breath roots you deeper. Place a hand on your belly and feel it rise and fall with your breathing. As energy and awareness move into your core, it moves out of your mind, depleting the energy that is feeding the brewing storm.

Your Child Can Help You Find Center
To help the flow of energy out of your mind and into your body, as you place your hand (or hands) on your rising belly, visualize or imagine your child, just prior to being born floating inside the womb. Sense your child’s pure state of being -- the trust and protection -- and merge with it. Consider how, regardless of the world’s events, your child floats effortless, in a place of no thought and pure acceptance.

It may be difficult to sustain this awareness, especially as you are continually being tugged back into the storm. To help the grounding process, press your feet to the ground and feel the solid earth. Sense the Earth’s perception of your feet pressing against it. Close your eyes and then slowly open them, looking at the world anew. If you are in a group setting, and self-conscious of closing your eyes, then gently blink them with deliberation. Continue to concentrate awareness around your breathing.

As this process unfolds (and this is key), allow the thoughts that are rushing through your mind – swirling with the wind – to pass. Watch them swirl, and watch them pass. In your more centered state of being, there is no need to throw yourself into these thoughts. Let them go. Trust that there is no thought of consequence that will disappear. What will disappear, however, are the self-proclaimed “important” stories and thought patterns that have come to dominate much of your time and are the source of irritation and pain.

In time, and with practice, you will intuit approaching storms. Upon moving to your center, the storm often will dissipate on the spot. But even if it begins to rage, by moving into the I, you create an environment that will help you to weather the storm, and perhaps bring about the return of blue skies, white clouds, cool winds, and a dazzling sun.

Until next time,

Scott Rogers
Editor, The Mindful Parent Newsletter
http://TheMindfulParent.org
Author, Mindful Parenting: Meditations, Verses, & Visualizations for a More Joyful Life (January 2006: Mindful Living Press)

About The Mindful Parent Website and Community

The Mindful Parent is an organization devoted to sharing with parents and other child caregivers ways in which to enhance the many joys of parenting and of becoming more grounded in the present moment.

Each morning The Mindful Parent publishes The Morning Cup, a column that provides mindful parenting tips for the day. You can read this column by visiting TheMindfulParent.org. You may also sign up to receive an e-mail each Monday, Wednesday and Friday containing The Morning Cup column.

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