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What's New
The
Mindful Parent has revamped its
form for submitting mindful parenting verses and contributing to the
mindful parent community.
Beginning in June, and thanks to your
feedback and request for more verses, "The Morning Cup" daily column will
begin to incorporate more mindful parenting verses. As always, your
feedback is appreciated. We encourage you to let us know what you think
by contacting
us. It makes a difference.
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Welcome to the June 1, 2004 Issue of The Mindful Parent
Newsletter.
In
this newsletter we'll expose one of the brain's best kept secrets. As you
may know, the thinking part of our brain is very tricky. Watch out! It
would trade a mindful parenting moment for a thinking one in a
heartbeat.
How many times have you had the following experience?
You're watching your beautiful child sleeping peacefully in bed and you're
feeling an extraordinary bliss? Remember how your heart swelled with
tenderness and love at the sight? Then, you marveled to yourself, "Wow,
what a feeling! What joy." Tricky brain!
Whether you realize
it or not, the state of marveling cannot be a mindful one. It is a
thinking one. At the very instant you are mindfully immersed in the
beauty of the moment -- experiencing bliss -- a little hand taps you on
the shoulder and lulls you from bliss to thinking about bliss. This
little hand is so good at it you don't even realize what is happening.
Then, sometime after (somewhere between a millisecond and 50 years) you
gain the awareness of having known bliss and relinquished
it.
Bliss Regained
There is a fine line between
bliss and thinking about bliss. From thinking about bliss, the mind
usually retreats even further from bliss. And once the thinking mind
takes over -- well, off you go.
For example, have you ever
found yourself stuck in vacation-antsy. That's when you long for a
relaxing vacation. You make arrangements to go to the perfect place. But
when you get there, you begin to get antsy and are unable to relax?
Instead, and despite your best intentions, you do a lot of things
antithetical to the goal of relaxation. In all likelihood, you're
spending a lot of time thinking about whether you are relaxed. And once
you start thinking about it -- well, off you go.
So, what can
you do the next time you are deep into a joyful experience with your child
and you start thinking too much? Actually, there's not a whole lot to do
at the time that will return you to a state of bliss (though it is
possible). Once you become aware of your "marveling," you likely will be
especially cognizant of whether you return to bliss. And cognizant means
"thinking!" What you can do, however, helps to prepare you for the next
time to are experiencing bliss and the little hand starts to reach out.
Recite the following verse to yourself the next time you
realize you are marveling and not blissing:
Bye bye
bliss
I can smell you
In the mist
This is
an easy verse to remember. Its power resides in the shifting of awareness
to the olfactory sense, which for many is a repressed sense. The first
stanza reinforces appreciation of the simple fact that you've misplaced
your blissful state. The second stanza helps you to shift attention to
your nose. Relax your facial muscles and sense your nostrils. Take a
deep breath and feel the air passing through your nose as it flows down
your throat and into your lungs. As you exhale, sense the movement of
air as you squeeze it out of your lungs and out of your nose. As you
open awareness to your nose, you tone down the energy feeding your
thinking mind. Your nose may begin to tingle.
As you become
more aware of your nose, sense a fine cool mist filling the room. Don't
think, just breathe. Inhale this cool mist. Your olfactory sense will
bring you closer to the state of wonderment you previously experienced.
Don't be surprised if the first several times you try this, your thinking
mind does its best to minimize your return to bliss. But, in time you may
find that your nose is a natural guide to staying in a blissful state.
So, follow your nose.
Until next time.
Scott Rogers
Editor, The Mindful Parent Newsletter
http://TheMindfulParent.org
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Thanks to Jeff G. and Mark D. for
their recent contributions of a mindful parenting verse. Their verses are
marked with the "new" graphic and can be found by clicking
here.
If you would like to contribute a mindful parenting
verse, please visit the website to learn how to make a submission.
The Mindful Parent website and newsletter
are internally funded and do not receive any funds through the advertising
or promotion of third party content or services.
Copyright 2004. All rights reserved. The Mindful Parent
is a trademark of Zen Health.
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